Waltz

Caught up in silence
she screams.
Her chance to be heard
Stop her.
Stop this
Stop
                               Me
tiny cracks across my skin
this addiction
revolting
inviting
comforting
Self abuse my fall back
I cannot stay away
It beckons
so sweetly
a lover wrapping soft arms
around me.
Gathered in this warmth
She shuts up
getting what she wants
Giving up I dissolve
into nothing
feelings dissipated
sight impaired
sound unheard
it's just me
and her

Endlessly.

A puppet to my 
insecurities
dangling from the strings
of abuse
I giggle
hating what I am
loving and hating
                   you.
Don't look
Don't touch
Don't love me
I'm poison
infectious
paralyzing
I will tear you apart
so we can match
you're beautiful

     Let me ruin you.