Haven't written poems in a while

                     Be nice this is the first in quite a long time

They fight
over me
the cliched epic battle
of good versus evil
war after war
scarred upon my skin
who will win?
angel or demon
who am I?
screaming is futile
crying brings lust...

Can't remember how I was going to finish it. Any ideas?
Oh yeah that's right...
No one's here

my baby speaks of love
he tries
to steal my heart away
but I am wild I am untamed
I was made to disobey

my love he tried to warn me
he then
locked me in a cage
but I'm the wind I live in flames
he cannot make me stay

my darling left me weary
he failed
at making me mundane
but I'm a phantom I am insane
I'll only bring you pain

she's facedown in the dirt
screaming out her hate
pretending there's no pain
it's a lie
and it's bleeding out her arms
the shame
of feeling she's so weak
he's never coming back
she thinks
is it worth it?
waiting for his love
which others get to touch
his lust
drives her crazy
no other fills her needs
only he
is on her mind
and yet she feigns
indifference

taste my blood
feel the heat
my wounds are fresh
and scream "I'm weak!"
baby you're the razorblade
bound between my wrists
trapped inside numb slumber
sweet pain! How you were missed

reject ll

you look into my eyes
and stare right at my heart
leaving me breathless
heart racing
soul trembling
at being laid so bare
read me like a book
I know you can
mind flinching away
but your arms they pull me close
what do you see darling?
will you let me see with your eyes?

Transfer

Is it so surreal
to still be here
alone and nowhere near
to where I should be
and yet it could be
I'm at the end of
everything
why is forbidden fruit so sweet?
please God
don't leave
me in this wilderness
locked within my words
stuck among this hurt
and blame
among this shame
carry me gently
through darkening skies
don't let me fall into my fear of life

Mother (bio)

ashes to ashes
and angel dust
mommy where'd you go
your baby needs your love
drugs, alcohol, sex
I'm always listed last
in your priorities
do you see?
you left me lonely
left me hungry for your touch
not hands of lust
pulling at my hair
dragged into the dark
did you cry at night
know you broke my heart
left her to die
left us to lies
to suicide?
I never knew I knew you
never knew you were me
never knew you'd never know
how like you I would be
but I'm breaking free

F*ck

fireworks bursting
burning through the sky
where I belong
above this rotted earth
where I live stepping through decay
if you loved me would I stay?
No.
not now that I am broken
like my trust
your hands stained with my blood
feel my heart beating rusty in it's shame
all you need
is to call my name
I'll come running, tripping
scream to stop
but I can't, I won't

I hate it

Love

I'm bleeding inside
but my eyes stay dry
rage tossing, roiling
boiling beneath
your mouth is still moving
like a wind-up toy
would it stop if I pulled up
my sleeves?
to show you all your words
that hurt
lined up straight
in a row on my arms
bleeding with bitterness
crying out in shame
seeping with self-hate
pain
is my companion
your competition
my name

Darcy

running
faster
spilling from your shoes
pound, pound
pounding down the feelings
with each rebelling step
leaking all your tears
as sweat
tear off all your layers
like you're tearing from your life
fly faster
fly farther
though you've never flown before
taste freedom
so bitter
cause you know

it never lasts

Pernicious

I'm a monster
I'm your bitch
fuck me over
and I'll spit and hiss
rage released with razorblades
to reveal my loving self
black and white
my thoughts collide
can you feel me smile
hear the pain inside?
trading secrets
switching sides
so in control
yet fighting lies
you're gone
and then you're here
watching me laugh through tears
if irony were tangible
no could ever
touch me

Insanity

why do you cry?
black tears streaming down your face
you clutch my arms pull up my sleeves
and kiss every scar, I'm shamed
you say you want to save me
I just need to tell you how
It hurts to see your pain
but I never make a sound
how do I say it's too late
I'm dead, there's no hope now
when all this time you stare at me
the hope in your voice so loud
deafening, pleading like a song stuck in my head
you'd think it'd drive me crazy
but I sing along instead

Untitled 2

can you feel it?
like an idea taking shape
like a snake shedding venom
rushing, roaring
holding back tears
can you see it?
blurred between these lies
a hummed song
too deaf for words
or meaning
Take me away!
don't leave me lonely
like you have before
you leave me sore
leave me hungry
leave me

leave

Not missing Rachel

"Look what you've done!''
screams her bleeding arms
drowning me in her misery
''Die''
just a whisper
harsh with fury
forceful yet so soft
"Don't hide from me, I love you"
she cuts away my tears
"Love your pain"
I don't know why I'm crying
"Baby, you're mine
I missed you
missed you crying"
I didn't
I wouldn't
I couldn't speak
was silent.

Emo B*tch

make me up as a porcelain doll
out on display
too far to fall
baby do you miss me
am I ever in your thoughts
you say you love me, say you're sorry
but you never tried to call
why after all this time
am I still so dam small
and all the things I said to you
keep my hands chained to the wall

Scattered

rush
heart pounding
blurring my hand against this page
overwhelming
screaming to be heard
hello my lover
pain sublime
turning nonsense into
poetry
crazy it seems
your voice it screams
through my heart
to places divine
shaky hands
trembling words
sweet heart slow down
dear soul be still
my love I had forgotten
your voice
dripping smooth
into my senses
drowning me in
Euphoria
faint heart don't fail
to remember                        
                               pain
you make me weak with love
it seems
incredible

Lame

you say that it's goodbye
but baby I love you
you tell me you don't feel the same
but baby I need you

You ask if I'm ok
I laugh
bitter
all I want to do is scream
at you, the world, the things I've said
my phantom, my lullaby,
my poison prince
they tell me I don't need you
when I do
they say I deserve better
so why do I feel shame?
when the tears I cry
turn bloody red
and scars find new places
to hide

I whisper that you hurt me
but darling you can't hear
I spilled my blood for you
but darling you'd never see

My God

Her blood runs pink
like her watered down
truths
taking up arms
she marches back and forth
more like pacing
more like waiting
more like anything else
then a fight
then a chance
a shot rings out
not from her hand
she stops unsteady
He says "It is I"
and she's too tired
too unafraid
too disappointed
to want to be alone
so she gives in
and He attacks
holding her close
wiping away the bad things
like The Father He is
promises her Heaven
if she'd believe

I believe
My salvation has come

Untitled 1

sweet and for your own needs 
your words are the sun
warming me

and then they burned

can't you tell the difference?
between love, lies 
and a sacrifice?

can you read between my lines?

silence is but a memory
of sitting by your side
silence is what silence does

and your silence says it all

I can take
your sorrows away
or I can make you break

I'll drown for you

Joking of Enigmas

Darling do you want me?
or are we playing at pretend?
I can't tell where the jokes and truth
                                 meet head to head

Is this just a fantasy?
Am I thinking way too hard?
Am I ever on your mind
                                in the hours I am gone?

Parting is such sweet sorrow
and yet part we must
is the sorrow of affection
                                or our lust?

If love is pain
torture me with your burning kiss
if hope is a shot of death
                               let me be hit

for without the dark
you'll never rejoice in light
if there never were a wrong
                              how would you know it's right?